One of the reasons why one says, “Thank God, I’m an IITian!”?
(Spotted this on one of the toilet doors in A-bot, Girls Hostel-I, IIT Kanpur.)
No, the girls who reserved the toilet for themselves are not conducting some weird-ass, freaky-shit science experiments in it; by displaying such discriminatory attitude, they are shamelessly testifying that (despite education and high IQs) they’re so full of shit.
The following is my entry into the ‘Seven Samurai’ contest conducted by the English Literary Society, IIT-K, in the summer vacation, year 2009. [‘Seven Samurai’ challenge: To write a 100 word story. 7 words are already given. The story should be written in 93, or less than 93 words of choice AND the 7 given words as they are, without changing form (eg. noun remains noun) and without removing context (eg. “Stegophilist is a word I do not like.” is not allowed). The 7 words and their meanings are: stegophilist = n. One who likes to climb buildings; cruciverbalist = n. One who loves crosswords; dactylion = n. The tip of the middle finger; alopecia = n. Hair loss; defenestration = n. An act of throwing someone or something out of a window; exophagy = n. The practice, amongst cannibals, of not eating one’s relatives or members of one’s tribe; gossypiboma = n. A surgical sponge accidently left inside a patient’s body]
I’m Jack, stegophilist by passion;
bound in marriage by parental exertion
to a cruciverbalist, Jill, without option.
We were fine, no doubt about it,
until each discovered the other’s deficit.
A missing dactylion wouldn’t have mattered a bit,
but what’s missing’s her right tit.
Likewise she intensely loathes my alopecia.
I tried everything- aloe to acacia;
travelled to the deserts of Central Asia…
…found no cure; couldn’t stop causing her constant nausea
Affection long discarded mutually by mental defenestration,
we’re like cannibals following exophagy by tradition.
Disgust’s perpetuating like cancerous cardiac gossypiboma…
Friends, marriage between strangers can be ultimate trauma!
This story is exactly 100 words long. The contest was open for about 45 days. I guess the entries never reached the judges, or received prizes or any form of acknowledgement. Nonetheless, it is the only thing I attempted to write that summer and managed to.