Things to remember on this Valentine’s Day, especially if you have broken up a relationship recently

Lately having read many a blog-post dripping with cynicism over the tradition of Valentine’s, the overt commercialization, the artificiality of setting aside a day for loved ones, blah blah blah, I, for a change, decided to depart from my own customary cynicism and write something positive about Valentine’s, especially for those of us who are healing the wounds caused by a vicious break-up. After all, there is still space for “love”, the concept as opposed to the emotion, on Earth, in whatever form or method it is practiced. Well, well, I’m atleast trying to be positive.

Love comes in many forms these days. Let me roll out a few examples, as they come to my mind with or without price-tags,…..greeting cards, SMS, e-cards, balloons, cakes, occasional lengthy phone calls, rarely flowers. While these are on the low-end of love tokens, on the high-end they have candle-light dinners, designer clothes, vintage watches, expensive perfumes, diamond-studded  earrings, sleek cars, bungalows, aircraft, nuclear armament…I mean there is no upper limit to it. I don’t mean to underscore the commercial element of it. Money is only secondary; at least, it ought to be so. The reason being – whatever token of love you receive on this symbolic day, it is not as lovely as when you receive it from the man/woman you most desire.

There is a lover in every one of us. While many of us are fortunate enough to be accompanied by a Valentine on this special day, the rest of us can still dream about having that special person by our side in the nearest future. There must be a few of us who may have broken up with  our partners recently. Those of us must be viewing the impending Valentine’s Day as a major stumbling block to the obscenely difficult course of moving on. To this last group of lovers I want to say, cheer up, because there must be better lovers waiting for you elsewhere. Here are a few tips to get yourself back on your feet, feeling great and looking up again.

First and foremost, get out of those social networking websites which can only beleaguer you with a barrage of status updates and photo uploads from people who are ever ready to flaunt their fake love, and loveless gifts from their insincere lovers. (I assure you that those who update their V-Day adventures surely haven’t enjoyed the day as much as they did uploading the pictures in the aftermath. And, if some of those usual self-publicizing dickheads didn’t update it surely means that they didn’t have any worthwhile adventures to share or are just trying to be elusive. So, there is nothing you would likely miss by not logging into those loser-friendly networks anyway, any day.)

Take a warm water bath. Put on your best-loved dress and get out of your cubbyhole. Get yourself some bright-colored fragrant roses, and chocolates… treat yourself.

On this cheerful day spread your love to those who have the capacity to cherish it. Flush out from your fragile mind those unwanted memories of your ex, forever and ever.  Light up his/her photos with a match and wash them down the drain. It works well as surely as it did for Geet and Adi in Jab We Met.

Don’t cringe at posters of romance movies or at the sound of love songs on your i-POD but enjoy them in your new-found freedom.

Gorge on your favorite pastimes in your renewed perspective of being by yourself again.  Try out new clothes, new tastes, new music, new movies, new books, new forms of art.

It is not really a good idea to reconnect with your old friends on V-Day  for you may be risking hearing an aggrandized update of their V-Day news by doing so; but don’t block an old friend from reconnecting with you.

Finally, take a deep breath and take a moment to realize that  the day wouldn’t have been so awesome had you tried to stretch that exhausted relationship this far and spoiled one of the most divine pleasures of mankind – solitude. So congratulate yourself on breaking that unwieldy relationship for the better. Remember not to blame yourself for entering into it or for being the one who was dumped. No mistake is a bad mistake for you get to learn  something from every one of your mistakes. Likewise, no relationship is a bad relationship for you get to learn something from every one of them.

Happy girl

Remember that though it may seem to you presently that every man or every woman, as the case may be, is as big a douche-bag as your ex, it is not quite true.  So do not hesitate to welcome love with open arms into your life. It may come in the form of a cheerful ray of sunlight, or a wild flower blown into your window by a stray breeze; or perhaps, embodied as a lover knocking at your door on this wonderful day.  

(Photo courtesy:

Happy Valentine’s Day

 Love Story

“Among the girls I was acquainted with in college, specifically, those girls who never had anything substantial to talk about, were, certainly, very delicious to talk to because their conversations, though pointless, were laced with just the right amounts of flirtation. Well, I was of the tendency to pull off into slightly intellectual byroads on the topics, only to be able to have a dialogue, but the conversations soon became inedible everytime. I had several outings with them on occassions like the club treats and birthday parties, yet I lived the first two years of college in complete ignorance of the life and habits of such girls. And, I was far from suspecting anything like encountering someone like Miss Lemmons.

Although, as a rule, I didn’t find these dimwitted girls interesting or attractive, with a false sense of pride I accepted the proposal that came forth from one such classmate, a young lady named Miss Lemmons, to me, by the end of the second year, of me being her boyfriend.
In the course of a six-month long relationship, when Miss Lemmons committed half-truths and concealed facts as she spoke, when we met at her apartment, at mine, at fancy restaurants and ice-cream parlours, at friends’ parties, or in the classroom, I thoroughly believed her on account of my  disillusioned view of the human kind. With such delicate precision she trickled the terms of endearment into her well-structured dialogues about how happy we were and how we could be happier if only I changed a few things about myself, that I hardly noticed my words weren’t being paid the slightest attention to. Her strategies to keep me in the dark were simple and efficient.
Anyway, one summer afternoon, the minutest suspicion germed in my head, when from my balcony I saw the way she moved in the presence of one Mr Byseps. After that day, more than once I had seen something similar in her behaviour, especially when she had no idea I was watching her. By repeated observation I had inferred that my presence hardly mattered for her to move in a certain inappropriate way in the presence of other men. I’m careful not to call it vulgar; it was just inappropriate in a way that it was unacceptable to me.  She was honest and dishonest at the same time.
We went on several dinner dates as this happened. I should say that she had a very healthy appetite – for several were the days when she went on dinner parties with other men, after I had dropped her off at her apartment. A healthy appetite; she is untiring; she is insatiable. Maybe, I was a bit scared. She called them her ‘good friends’ and talked about them in the same light. As time passed, I discovered that she regularly wrote to one Mr. Hansumm and longed for him to write back. Though it was a known fact to all on campus that he was already engaged, she was too deluded with the idea of ‘the whole male population of the campus lusting after her’ to accept that he wasn’t fancying her. Around the same time she became clearly obsessed with one attractive Mr. Quinn as was evident from the low-intelligence conversations I forced myself to have with her. She longed to see him everyday and wished for him to make the first move towards expression of an unspoken mutual affection between them that was solely her own mind’s fabrication. This delusion was so strong that it completely made her disbelieve another commonly known fact on campus that Mr. Quinn was a homosexual. She relished the idea of yearning for one, waiting for another and being with the third- all simultaneously.
Finally, one auspicious Valentine’s Day morning, I withdrew from the clutches of this young lady and I was left with a sense of displeasure- the kind that people who have no moral scruples evoke in me.
Sometimes I can’t help wondering if she was the true lover; the one who was above all scruples; maybe the one who had the divine capacity to love us all equally and at the same time. Or, maybe she was just a nymphomaniac.

However, now I can say that I have acquired a kind of an authority, though not on any nymphomaniac, but on the subject of nymphomania. I am also aware of the fact that much needs to be learnt about the disorder though I do not wish to.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day to all!”